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The loss

Losing a child, no matter how or when it happens (abortion, miscarriage), requires a long and difficult process of forgiveness and reconciliation. Those who have had abortions talk about an increasing need to grieve, in order to be healed and to try and find forgiveness. Some women begin their \"reconciliation journey\" 60 years after the experience of abortion.

After an abortion the symptoms can vary greatly. They can be a light to intense feeling of grief that may include a real \"post-traumatic stress disorder\". The professionals who work in this field emphasise the need to resolve the loss of parenting caused by abortion. They say that this loss, if simply removed, will reappear in the form of other losses (eg, emotional loss, job loss, personal failure or disappointment, illness, or the death of a family member).

Our society, which often includes a religious community and family, do not recognise abortion as a legitimate loss. The overriding belief is that abortion is the \"solution\" to a problem and not the cause of new problems. Moreover the Church\'s teachings are frequently interpreted as pure condemnation. In this environment, abortion becomes a secret that in many cases is not even revealed in the confessional.

When pregnancy ends in abortion, there is an immediate change in the person\'s physiology and hormone levels, due to a sudden and unnatural failure in the body. People tend to think that, having signed forms before the surgery and agreeing to the procedure that the woman is immune to any kind of negative feelings of repentance or guilt. What that really means is that abortion is treated almost as a \"non-experience\". Because of this, parents do not know where to turn for help to soothe the pain they may later find themselves suffering from.

People feel abandoned, forced into silence and prisoners of their own shame ... until they get to exclude themselves from any form of physical, psychological or spiritual relief. For this reason it is of the utmost importance that parents are taught to recognise post-abortion symptoms, to be able to recover, and also to convince themselves that they have the right to act out their pain, and thus to be assisted in the healing process.

Visit the \"Rachel\'s Vineyard\" site where you will find broad support and practical solutions to help you manage your grief.

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